Katya's Story

I am the Great Katya Ludmilla Smirnoff-Skyy, reigning diva of the Russian opera world. My hair is lavish, my accent thick, and my voice....giant, or so I am told. The details of my life are somewhat shrouded in mystery.

The great Katya was born in communist Petrograd, the daughter of a famous dancer and a roving gypsy minstrel. During her formative years, Katya traveled Europe with her half-sister Kielbasa (the Polish lunch lady), until the fateful day she met and wed the good Count Smirnoff-Skyy. Together they returned to the motherland and lived happily for many years, until the Count's unfortunate demise.

Katya was left alone, with little more than a title, a voice, and a fabulous collection of imperial jewels. She knew it was time to return to the stage -- the world had waited long enough. After the great fall of communism, Katya packed her makeup bag and came to “the America." Now she plays concert halls, opera stages and the occasional drag bar. She is a dutiful employee of the Macy's, where she sells “the Makeup," fulfilling a life-long dream to beautify the world.